5 Times Bones Needed a Drink
by Andalusia25
Summary: 5 times Bones needed a drink and one time he didn't.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek and I don't make any money off of this writing – purely entertainment.**

**Warning: It's a Bones' story so you know there will be some foul language.**

**I wanted to try my hand at writing a '5 Times'. It will be a six parter. And because I love Bones!!**

**5 Times Bones Really Needed a Drink (and 1 time he didn't)**

One

James T. Kirk and his side-kick Spock had saved Earth from that crazy bastard Nero and that was the _only _highlight of the damn day. As for the rest of it, Murphy's Law was the best explanation: 'everything that can go wrong, will.' Every thing had gone to hell in a hand basket after the emergency alert had come in from Vulcan. Not fifteen minutes after they had arrived on the Enterprise as _cadets_ the Med Bay had been blown to hell and the current CMO had died. So, Leonard "Bones" McCoy was now the Chief Medical Officer. Then those crazy Romulans had blown up a whole planet, an act of genocide against Vulcans. That Nero jackass had then turned his attention to Earth after torturing Captain Pike, and that's when all hell broke loose. Some where in the middle of it Jim Kirk had been beaten up at least 3 times, two acts of mutiny, actually spaced-jumped, had been deserted on a planet and then had beamed back onboard mid-warp, of course Bone had been blessedly kept out of the planning of his best friend's suicidal thoughts, not to mention Bones had intervened between Pike and Spock on Kirk's behalf. But some how, like always, Kirk's end result had been worth his snot-nosed attitude. But the day had taken its toll. The Enterprise had sustained heavy casualties, hell Star Fleet had lost nearly half its fleet and with it most of its third and fourth year cadets.

So, you had a cadet who had just cheated on one of the defining Star Fleet tests as Captain, a half-Vulcan who had just lost his home world as Commander, a guy who had practically been a convict by Star Fleet standards as Chief Engineer and a poor county doctor as CMO. If that didn't spell "scrapping the bottom of the barrel", Bones didn't know what did. They were limping back towards Earth without warp speed because that crazy-ass Scot thought he wanted to eject the warp core. Brilliant people had no common sense; well that was at least Bones take on the situation. While the rest of the ship's crew was trying to repair the damage the Enterprise had suffered, Bones was trying to take care of all the wounded on the make-shift Med Bay and keeping his thoughts on only those in front of him. Everyone he encountered had tears in their eyes. So many deaths… Bones stopped that thought before it went even further.

Bones couldn't keep up with the time any more, it was all a blur of surgeries and bandages. He had worked on repairing the damage to Pike's spinal column for twelve hours straight. He had completely repaired any damage in the thoratic spine, but the lumbar had been touch and go. He would live, and for right now that is all Bones could hope for. Once he was out of surgery with Pike, Bones had dealt with all the wounds that had not been labeled stat during the battle. The nurses, especially Chappell, had already treated the minor wounds leaving him only PADDs to sign-off on. They were lifesavers. The Medical staff had seen to everyone's wounds and alleviated most of the patient's pain of the mentioned wounds. The Med Bay was slowly empting out. All biobeds were full of the patients they would keep overnight and some of the patients had been placed on cots in the floor. A fresh shift of nurses had come on and was taking over assignments from their weary counterparts.

At some point during the rush of broken bones and burns, Jim had stopped in to check on Bones before heading to Engineering. Bones had been so glad to see that he was alive and ok that he didn't bother scolding the kid for acting so stupid during the battle. He had hugged the kid tight. Jim had asked Bones to check on the Vulcans, because they actually like Bones. The Vulcan elders were in shock (they might repress their emotions, but a whole planet of people killed kinda took a toll on even the most heartless of bastards) and Bones had given them something to help them sleep. They had been very kind to him and thankful, even by human standards. Once all were settled for their sleep Bones finally took a breath and looked over Med Bay as a whole, not in the little sections he'd been seeing up to that point. It was relatively quiet.

After he was sure no one needed him at that very second and Chappell sending him off to rest, Bones headed to the alternate CMO's office. He briefly thought that he was glad that it wasn't the main office because he would have felt even worse about going into another man's private sanctuary. He sat down in the chair behind the desk. It felt like heaven. His curiosity won over his tired brain and he began opening drawers to see what the desk held. All of the drawers except the bottom one were empty, but the last held the greatest treasure he'd found all damn day. It was a bottle of Brandy, the real shit not that replicated garbage, complete with a glass. Bones really needed a drink, he needed to calm his nerves or he'd never be able to rest. So, he poured him one glass and sipped it. He was not going to get drunk; those people might need him at a moments notice. He sat quietly and let the tears fall down his cheeks. He cried for Vulcan, he cried for all the innocent cadets on all the ships, he cried for the lost crew and he cried for his daughter. His daughter that had he not snuck Jim onboard the Enterprise would have been lost to him. He drank one more glass, because he really, really needed not to think of loosing his precious baby girl.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek and I don't make any money off of this writing – purely entertainment.**

**This is another maudlin tale. Hopefully the next ones will be more cheerful or even funny.**

Two

There was something about Red Shirts and Jim that just didn't mix. They were only four damn months into a five year mission and they'd lost more Red Shirts than they had saved. Bones was beginning to think he needed to have all security members beaming to the surface to wear black, green, purple or even fuchsia, just not red. He had gone so far as to make a recommendation to the admirals back on Earth to change the color of the security uniform, of course it might take until the next century, but maybe someone would listen. Red was the universal color for anger, attack, blood and ever other hostile image available. After the catastrophic loss of life with the Nero attack, something needed to be done to keep these crazy ass aliens from killing more Star Fleet personnel.

In Bones' mind it was bad enough that these poor souls were being killed on the surface of some ass-backwards hole-in-the-wall planet with no proper burial, but it was even worse when they were beamed directly back to a bio-bed in Med Bay. If they were beamed back they all had the same blind faith that the infamous Dr. McCoy would be able to save them and make them whole once more so they could follow James T. Freaking Kirk off into the black void like eager damn puppies. It killed Bones to see that utter relief in their eyes when he stepped over them. He was a doctor damn it not a miracle worker, his name was Leonard McCoy not Anne Sullivan. He could not save every life that came before him, no matter how damn hard he tried. He would pump them full of every cardio resuscitator known to Star Fleet medical and do chest compressions until Chappell or Jim pulled him off and restrained him while someone else called time of death.

Today Jim had beamed to the surface of an un-inhabited planet with a minimal team of three science officers, two security members and Spock. It was supposed to be a by-the-book, not-going-to-meet-a-damn-soul away mission. Be that as it may, but Bones was on edge, nothing was ever that simple for Enterprise or maybe it was just Jim. He and Chappell were already getting supplies ready to treat any wounded. They had started independently of each other on opposite side of Med Bay and met in the middle. They knew it was just going to be a matter of time before their services were requested. Just as they had gotten the whole Med Bay ready to take on causalities, Scotty had commed to inform them that he was beaming Ensign Hardwick directly to bio-bed four. Bones mind started turning in circles as he watched the body slowly take form. Bio-bed four was reserved for massive trauma, internal and external. This kid must have taken one hell of a beating to occupy that bed.

Once Ensign Hardwick had fully materialized Bones and Chappell were hovering over him running diagnostic scans as fast as the tricorders would work. "Ensign, tell me what happened." Bones' voice was not as gruff as usual. The poor Ensign could only moan in reply. Chappell was reading off a constant stream of injuries from her tricorder. "He has a broken femur, pelvis, three ribs with a punctured right lung, both humorous bones are broken and several crushed vertebrae." Her voice was calm, but Bones heard the tremor. There were numerous visible lacerations all over his body. "His cranium has been cracked at the temporal lobe and there is bleeding in his right hemisphere." Her face was loosing all color as she went along.

Bones took only a few seconds to decide his course of action. "We have to stop the bleeding in the brain first. Get me the vascular regenerator and then get someone from that away team to tell us what the hell happened down there." The moment Bones reached his hand for the medical apparatus, she fit it into his palm. It had been the one tool they had not set out in their preparations. He wasted no time programming the repairs and placing it on the Ensign's forehead. Chappell had left the bedside to use the comm unit on the wall. While the bleeding in the brain was being repaired, Bones took the osteo-regenerator and began to repair the broken rib bones. The Ensign had been moaning, until the ribs began to knit, but he had blessedly passed out cold from the pain. Bones hated he couldn't give him some pain meds, but with his head injury it was better to wait. Ribs were one of the most painful and difficult bones to repair. Bones had to repair the ribs so he could re-inflate the lung to re-establish proper oxygen flow. Then he would work on the vertebra.

As the vascular regenerator signaled it completion, Chappell was back at the bedside and removing it from the Ensign's forehead. She scanned to verify that the bleeding had stopped and the pooled blood had been absorbed into the bloodstream properly before taking another osteo-regenerator to repair the broken cranium. "Captain Kirk reported that the Ensign was atop the canyon ledge when he lost his footing and fell approximately one hundred meters. It was not a clear fall though; he hit several smaller ledges on his way down." She kept her voice as neutral as a human woman could, but she couldn't keep the grimace off her face. Bones grunted in reply. He noted that this was the first time clumsiness had been added to the cause of away team mishaps. Usually it was Kirk diplomacy, but nothing surprised the doctor or his nursing staff any more.

They moved the osteo-regenerators and the dermal regenerators from one spot to the next on the poor man's battered body until he was completely healed. Once the brain injury had been properly repaired, Bones had thoughtfully given the Ensign a hypo mix of pain med and anesthetic to keep him under while they worked. Chappell worked up from the feet on the right while Bones worked down from the neck on the left. It was a symphony of buzz and hums of the medical equipment repairing bones, skin and tissue. It had taken nearly three solid hours to repair the damage the alien planet had done. There would be no lasting effects from the broken cranium or vertebra and there would not be any scars from the dermal abrasions. In fact, had he not just spent the back-splitting hours working on the man's body himself, Bones would never have believed he had just been beaten to a bloody pulp not hours before. Chappell had pat Bones' back in congratulations of another medical marvel done perfect as she left to give report to her replacement.

Wearily Bones pressed the hypo to reverse the anesthetic to the Ensign's neck and sat down on the bedside stool to await his return to consciousness. Bones rubbed the knot that had formed between his shoulder blades at the base of his neck as Ensign Hardwick began to stir. Bones stood up and leaned over the bio-bed to face his patient. "Ensign, this is Dr. McCoy. You are in the Med Bay back on board the Enterprise. You had nasty fall and broke several bones. We have repaired the damage. You hearing me in there?" Bones had dropped the compassionate physician routine and was quite ready to see this boy open his eyes. Hardwick nodded in reply. "Well, open your damn eyes, boy, I need to make sure your pupils dilate properly, you did had some brain damage, after all. I'm sure you are busting at the seams to get out of here." Hardwick squeaked an affirmative and opened his eyes as he sat up. Bones checked the pupil dilation, which was perfect. "Alright, Ensign, all reports confirm you are back to one hundred percent. I am taking you off duty for the next three days with strict orders for rest, then light duty for a week. Your repaired bones are still weak and liable to re-break if you push it. I want you in here tomorrow for a follow-up." Bones was barely done giving his instructions before Hardwick was up off the bio-bed rushing towards the exit. He squeaked another affirmative with his raw throat before disappearing out of Bones' line of sight; no doubt he was off to check the rest of the away team's status paying no heed to the CMO's orders much to Bones' disapproval.

Bones discontinued the recording devices and closed-out Hardwick's medical file. He headed towards his office to sit down in that damn comfortable chair of his. The need to drown his anger in something that burned on it's way to his stomach was an all-consuming drive. He had just spent over three hours in one-on-one medical treatment of that prat and he had not even thanked the doctor or the nursing staff. Instead he had run out probably going to beg forgiveness from Jim for doing such a stupid thing in the first place. The worst part of all was that the kid would probably come back to Med Bay in a month or two broken even worse, well that is if he made it back at all. It was a never ending cycle of young and robust men giving their lives to protect their captain. This small victory was bittersweet because in the end Hardwick would no doubt end up like the rest of the security teams. It broke Bones' heart that this dark void would take so many young lives in such a pointless redundancy. Bones drank until he forgot about security teams, red shirts or even away missions, until his cheeks were once again tear-free.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. Reviews are loved! Let me know what think.**

**(Kudos to any old-school Trekker that caught my joke early in this chapter.) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Star Trek and I don't make any money off of this writing – purely entertainment.**

**At least this chapter ain't going to be sad. No more dead/dying people. Just a bit angsty.**

Three

The Enterprise was the flagship of Star Fleet, the shining star in the admirals' eyes, the pearl of the Federation. Not only was she the one protecting the rest of the fleet from all the enemy vessels, she was to be present at every major event this side of the event horizon. Galas, balls, graduations, christenings, you name it, set the date and the Enterprise was there. But while the Flag Ship was put on display at all these events, her commanding officers were the center of attention as well. They were to be in their dress uniforms and act as ambassadors of the Federation. They would have to be one of the first to arrive and the last to leave. They were to dance with every willing partner and partake in any and all aspects of the celebration. The entire crew was to be fresh-faced and joyous no matter if they had just survived an attack with backstabbing Klingons or not. They were to be the epitome of perfection and professionalism.

To put it in Bones' terms: it sucked, hard. The dress uniform was always a size to small, or maybe even two sizes too small. When he sat down the back tried to ride up and show the whole damn court his Star Fleet issue boxers, but when he stood up the front tried to bunch up under his pecs making him look pregnant. It cut into his arms half way down his biceps as he tried to use what ever the current planet passed off as eating utensils to eat whatever in the hell they had put in front of him, because by the time they let him eat he was starving. It's neck tried to choke him every time he leaned over his plate to swallow the alien food so it wouldn't drip down the front of his uniform, and Jim would not let him wrap his napkin around his neck as a bib. He had to adjust the pants constantly: either the seat was trying to reach his knees or his socks were showing. He wasn't allowed to eat too much at dinner no matter how long the night wore on or how hungry he was; because the damn shirt was so tight around his stomach he swore he could watch the food move from his stomach to his small intestine, which might have been the highlight of his night. And they wouldn't let him have any alcohol until the party was nearly over to help alleviate any of his distress. Something about they needed the trained medical professional sharp incase one of the dignitaries needed his assistance. Bones thought they could just kiss his ass.

And while he was dealing with his damn tight, itchy, static-y uniform, he was seating next to the golden boy Jim Kirk who would have looked good in a potato sack. Not that Bones had really thought about how good his best friend looked or anything. No matter the function Jim was always prepared and freaking glowed in the spotlight. Spock sat on the opposite side of Jim looking just as regal; again Bones thought that Spock would have shined in anything as well, but he really was not thinking about how good looking Spock was, never. Jim's blue eyes shown brightly against his silky golden dress top and even Spock's smooth features shined against his silky blue top. No hint of irritation on either of their faces that Star Fleet couldn't size a dress uniform worse that Chekov's 'V's. They daintily ate their food and conversed with all those present. Jim smiling like the dashing captain he was and Spock solemn and serene as always. So the uncomfortable CMO was like a sore thumb next to the golden angel and the green demon more commonly known as the best damn command duo in the galaxy. Not that anyone else noticed or cared about his discomfort, because well damnit you could only help and stare at the magnificent sight of the command duo, once again not that Bones knew anything about that.

Then after the how-ever-many-course meal they were lead towards a dance floor (or what Bones called a dance floor) to partake in that particular cultures dancing ritual. Bones would stay out of the way, decline the one or two offers he got to dance, and watch the rest of the command crew at their finest. Every culture they encountered was always fascinated by Spock and he was always fascinated by them. So Spock would be surrounded by a gaggle of scientists asking him questions, avoiding any personal contact as appropriate. Bones would imagine if they were humans they would look like the old-timey geeks with the pocket protectors and glasses that had tape around the center. Jim was always the center of attention for those who's IQ were not higher than their weight and were showing more skin than was covered by their garments. Jim would be wrapped up with several women, and men, quickly learning the dance moves of the planet and sweeping several natives off their feet at once.

The ceremony would drag on and on until Bones was nearly falling asleep at his post, but his eyes never left the Sun God Jim or the Moon Dancer Spock. Finally, after who-knows-how-long, Jim would beg the forgiveness of his adoring fans and seek the respite of the Enterprise. The farewell would be as grand as the welcome, but with more kisses or whatever that certain culture thought of as a kiss for Jim and nods of appreciation to Spock. The gentle tug of the transporter was the most welcome feeling in the galaxy to Bones' weary body. Once onboard, each would disperse to their stations to check on the current status of the Enterprise and to make sure nothing had happened during their absence. Then and only then would Bones rush to his quarters pulling off the uniform that he'd already unbuttoned in the hallway cursing the damn thing until he was clad only in his boxers. Always, without fail, he would splash his face with cold water and brush his teeth before putting on a short sleeve CMO duty uniform. As he once more left his quarters in a uniform that breathed and allowed him free range of movement, he would sigh and roll his neck on his shoulders smiling faintly.

After they were satisfied that nothing had happened while they were away, they would gather in Jim's quarters for a celebratory drink that they once again proved they are the greatest of the greatest at doing their jobs. Well, Jim and Bones would drink and Spock would sip some Vulcan tea. And after a night with Jim and Spock looking like models in their tight ass-hugging uniforms, Bones really needed a drink. Every time he remember the way the dress uniform fit the two commanding officers snuggly in all the right places, he would down another shot. Every time he remembered how gorgeous Jim looked when he smiled while dancing with some oddly-flesh colored female, he would down another shot. Every time he remembered how pleasant Spock looked while deep in an intellectual debate, he would down another shot. Usually Bones would run out of alcohol tolerance before he ran out of mental images. But Jim and Spock both would help him back to his quarters, smiling knowingly at each other as to why their friend always had to drink after their diplomatic outings and couldn't wait until they had another opportunity to torture the CMO again.

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading!**

**Don't know about the McSpirk pairing. Should I take it further in the next chapters? Hit the review button and tell me what you think, pretty please!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Star Trek and I don't make any money off of this writing – purely entertainment.**

**I am so excited! There have been over 500 hits to this story! Wow!**

Four

The Enterprise crew was a family, one gigantic loving, caring family. They ate together, they fought together, they cried together, they laughed together. After away missions, those who had made it back in one peace would find themselves a nice, quiet corner of an observation lounge and decompress together. If one crew member was feeling a little homesick, another crew member whether they were particularly close or not would cheer them up. If one crew member had been dumped, another crew member who fit the bill would step in and help them forget. If one crew member was taking a loss of life extra hard, someone would step in and help ease the pain, dull the edges enough for them to make it through the hardest parts. Even Jim and Spock were known to help any cases that seemed to far beyond the level of the rest of the crew. The future was something the crew was not guaranteed, so they made as much use of the present as possible. They had parties at the drop of the hat for no apparent reason other than Nyota had found some more party decorations.

Such was the case with the party that Bones had been reluctant to attend tonight. He had come in hopes of Romulan Ale or even some of that nasty shit Scotty called moonshine because his own personal stock was completely out and he didn't want that piss poor imitation the replicator tried to produce. However, Bones was Southern-bred and the crap that Scot tried to pass off as moonshine was more like swamp water. But it got him drunk and Sulu had done some genetic altercations to the hops used so that they left you with no hangover. And Bones thought that Botany was useless. He had also come to check out the females, and males (too not that he admitted that out loud or to himself), wearing as little as possible and trying to get one of the command crew back to their cabin. Not that Bones ever went back to someone's cabin. He was never the one they were really after and because he didn't like taking second place, not even to James T. Sex-God Kirk.

Observation Deck Four was barely recognizable, not that Bones was surprised any more by Ny's decorating skills. There were some strange decorations on the walls that looked like the Easter Bunny, St. Patrick, St. Valentine and the Orion Goddess of Love had puked every where and then sprinkled it all with glitter. There were sparkly, bright colored streamers hanging down from the ceiling looking like dyed weeping willows. The lighting was being provided only by rock-glows they had picked up from some random planet they had been on. The scene looked like it had been pulled from one of Chappell's romance novels that she swore she didn't read that Bones swore he didn't know how it ended. It oozed sex appeal, notoriety and life. The invitation had clearly said that anyone who wished admittance should not show up in uniform and that it was a spring celebration of love and it was living up to the hype. Bones had laughed out loud at that, but he still showed up like some damn bleeding-heart fool. He was beginning to think that instead of a family, the Enterprise was more like a floating college frat party.

Bones went ahead and unbuttoned the second button on his green shirt and tucked his hands into his blue jean pockets trying to get as comfortable as possible. It was hot already with all the bodies grinding against one another. Some young Ensign had handed Bones a cup as he walked in. Thankfully he chugged it back without a second thought, and nearly gagged. Bones was just about to spew it into Nyota's face when she popped up looking guilty, but opted to just spit it in the cup. It was just punch, not the least bit spiked. Nyota grinned, she couldn't talk the music was blaring so loud, quickly kissed Bones hello on the cheek, before nearly skipping off to sit in Scotty's lap. Bones snarled after her and chunked the offending beverage. There had to be something with a little more zing than that shit and he was going to find it.

Bones' first instinct had been to follow Nyota towards Scotty and beg for some of his swamp water, but he'd watched Ny's ass wiggle in a skirt that was even shorter than her uniform for too long. He was sure that Scotty had notice the direction of his gaze, so Bones' would let the Scot simmer before asking for his brew. His second instinct had been to wander over to Chekov to ask for some of his vodka. He scanned the room until he found the blonde curls pressed up against an Asian. Bones couldn't decide who looked more appealing: the young blonde who had taken off his shirt and was showing his perfectly chiseled porcelain chest or the golden pilot who was grinning so wide his pearly white teeth were shinning in the dim light at the sight before him. Bones mentally shrugged and decided that he didn't want to finish those thoughts or have to make a choice between them. Finally Bones decided that he would just find Jim and steal whatever beverage he was drinking.

Jim was standing in the middle of the largest group of females in the room. Bones stood behind him where fewer women had opted to stand so they were only three deep at this spot. Jim had on a baby blue tight shirt with stonewashed jeans, and Dear God did he not look like Adonis himself. Spock was standing next to him in his Star Fleet blacks. He was just as toned as his captain and just as appealing, with more of an exotic angle. The women were swooning over them, and damnit if Bones wasn't getting weak in the knees as well. How in the hell did the Enterprise get luck enough to end up with such a fine command crew? Bones smacked his palm against his forehead. The force of the blow broke the spell the Captain and Commander had over him and he remembered why he had come to this side of the room. He scoped Jim out, trying to notice how the pants gripped his ass, checking him for a beverage. For the first time in known history, Jim was alcohol-free at a party. Had Bones stumbled into a really freaking alternative reality? Bones really had to find a damn alcoholic drink to put him out of his misery before he lost his mind completely.

Bones bounced from group to group, from one corner of the room to the other with a permanent scowl on his face. He asked everyone he could for a _real_ drink and they all had given him the same response "It is a no alcohol-allowed party." Finally he made his way towards Scotty, like a dog with its tail between its legs. He asked the Scot who just laughed and pointed to a fiery Ny who was steadily shaking her head 'no' with her pony tail seductively swishing with her movements because she knew damn well what Bones wanted from Scotty. He mumbled something about infuriating goodie two shoes before stalking off to continue his search.

With all the haughtiness of a pissed prom queen, defeated by the female in charge, Bones sank down onto a couch out of her line of sight, wishing he hadn't lost his flask in a card game at the academy. He watched Chekov grind against Sulu dancing seductively and kissing him passionately. He watched Ny give Scotty a lap dance that had his (both Scotty's and Bones') jaw hanging to the ground. He watched Jim flirt mercilessly with Spock ghosting touches over 75% of the man's body with Spock acting like he didn't notice. He watched as Chappell and Rand fought for dominance in what was either the hottest kiss he'd ever seen or the worse attempt to eat their opponent's face this side of Klingon space. He watched several couples in dark corners do things that polite company didn't mention. This, he decided right then and there, would be the last time he accepted an invitation to a party that required civvies.

Giving up any attempt at being anything other than a grown man in desperate need of a drink, Bones headed towards the door. He nodded farewell quickly to Ny as he practically ran from the room. He didn't see the looks that Ny, Jim and Chekov shared. The halls were empty and Bones couldn't fight the urge to run. He raced down the corridors and jumped into the turbo lift as soon as it opened. He squeezed his eyes shut trying not to think about how Ny's curves bounced as she danced, or how the sweat trickled down Chekov's abdomen disappearing into his waistband or how damn hot Jim Kirk and Spock were just standing there. When the turbo doors opened he shot down the hall at full speed. He punched in his access code and strode straight to his replicator and ordered 3 tall shots of bourbon. He knocked back the fowl tasting shit as it replicated another order. He repeated the actions for nine shots of replicated piss-tasting bourbon until the room got fuzzy. He crashed on his bed not even bothering to remove his clothes as he passed out pleading not to dream about his hot co-workers, his sexy friends.

**A/N: Thanks for reading**

**And the angst thickens! I am beginning to think I should have named it the 5 Time Bones Really Needed to Get Laid lol**

**Tell me what you think, pretty please with a cherry on top!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Like I even have to say it at this point, but I don't own Star Trek.**

**The last chapter had several typos and I am so sorry! I think I got carried away with all the mental pictures (thanks to the awesome vids on U-Tube that I admit I am addicted to as much as I am fanfics).**

**It's hard to believe that this story has had nearly 400 visitors. Can't help but gush with pride!**

Five

Enemies of the Federation loved to target the Enterprise as much as their allies like to fawn over the same ship or Star Fleet liked to shine her up and put her on display. It was a well known fact that the Enterprise was engaged by Romulans and Klingons, or anybody else that had a bone to pick with the peace-keeping armada, nearly twice as much as another ship in the Fleet. They all wanted a piece of the flag ship and her daring Captain Kirk. They all wanted a chance to try to bring the rash and arrogant James T. Kiss-My-Pretty-Boy-Ass Kirk to his knees. It didn't matter if the Enterprise was safely inside the Alpha Quadrant with Jupiter on her left and Neptune in front or if they were on a routine border patrol, they still were a movable bull's eye for aliens wanting to prove a point, pissed off guys from the future or crazy-ass bioengineered supermen who had been frozen for years.

On this day, Enterprise was some where in the middle of Federation Space. They had just completed their orbit around the Federation's borders and were heading back towards Space Station 7 for some relaxation. It had been a hell of a lot longer than the standard six months since their last shore leave and everyone was looking forward to spending time not having to worry would the hull crack, or if the warp engines hold out or did they have enough power to divert to the forward shields. Bones had almost begun to think that he might go thru one shift without all hell breaking loose. Today was his daughter's birthday and he had a scheduled call to make after she got home from school. He had sent her a present several months back that Jocelyn had promised him they had received and Joanna would not open it before he had a chance to talk to her on her birthday. Jocelyn was much nicer to Bones now that he was a member of the crew that had saved Earth and they were no longer married. Bones figured some times people were just not meant to be together and being mad at a woman who couldn't understand he was married to his work was pointless and a huge drain of energy, she must have decided the same thing about him.

However, before he could finish that line of thought, a Klingon Bird of Prey had de-cloaked on the port bow and began a rapid fire assault against the Enterprise. Red Alert was called and all hands prepared for battle. Though Bones didn't know exactly what was happening, he knew that they were under attack. He shifted from 'daddy mode' to 'CMO' in a blink of an eye and helped Chappell prep the bio-beds to take on casualties. Reports began to flood into Med Bay of injuries and patients en route for treatment. Burns and head wounds seemed to be the majority of the complaints. He was barking orders for equipment when the first wave of patients arrived in the Bay. Bones immediately oversaw the most traumatic of injuries leaving the nurses to triage and treat as many of the others as they could. Chappell, as the charge nurse, had taken over barking orders to the rest of the nursing staff as the ship quaked once more when the force of another attack.

Bones focused on the patient's in front of him forcing himself to not pay attention to the way the ship rocked while being fired upon. His first patient was an Engineering Lieutenant Prince who had been working on updating several electric relays when the attack started. He had no time to move away from the open fuses before he was thrown head first against the live wires. He had second and third degree burns on his face, torso and hands. He was unconscious from the electric shock. But it was nothing that Bones couldn't fix. He moved the dermal generator over the burns on the Lieutenant's face trying to keep his hand steady as the ship lurched from side to side. Nurse Davis was running the tricorder over his neural synapses to make sure no permanent damage had been done, reporting her minimal findings to Bones. This kid's prognosis was good. As a new batch of patient's arrived, Bones left his repair in the nurse's capable hands.

His second patient was a Communications Ensign whose station had been blasted in the second wave of the attack. She was unconscious and bleeding from her ears, her left arm was bent at a funny angle. Bones began to scan her brain and auditory functions as Nurse Fields began to regenerate the broken shoulder joint. Bones was not happy with his findings. It appeared that Ensign Taveed had suffered major intracranial bleeding and swelling. He ordered the appropriate drugs for the hypo, when she crashed. Suddenly two more nurses from out of thin air appeared and began helping the resuscitation efforts. Bones was yelling his orders above the screech of the monitors announcing the patient had flat-lined. Fields was working to secure an IV line, Vaughn was manning the artificial airway and breathing apparatus, Nix was giving the meds as fast as Bones could order them and Bones was manually performing chest compressions. Chappell had raced to his aid with the defibrillator and was charging it. She screamed clear over the roar of battle and pressed the pads securely to the Ensign's chest and attempted to restart her heart. Bones ordered to up the joules and more Eppy administered to the patient. A second attempt and more orders from Bones, a third attempt and before Bones could order Chappell pushed him away and called time of death.

Chappell pushed him towards his third patient, a security officer who had just barely escaped the vacuum of space when Deck eight had automatically sealed off the whole in the hull that the Klingon attack had created. Petty Officer Jergin was missing his right hand from the metacarpals down. Blood was dripping down from where he was clutching the nub with his left hand. Bones pressed a hypo full of pain meds and anesthetic to the poor man's neck and careful replaced his left hand with sterile 4x4's. Nurse Barnes was helping the patient lie back as Bones was trying to cauterize the wound to stop the bleeding. The cut was clean through, the air lock had more than likely sealed around the hand and the vacuum of space had ripped off the frozen flesh that had been left exposed. Bones used the laser scalpel to finish the amputation and further cauterize any blood vessels. It was one of the worst air lock injuries Bones had ever seen. Before he could give any more attention to any other wound poor Jergin had, his attention was once more pulled to another patient. He turned the care over to Barnes and went where Chappell was ushering him.

The constant cycle of patients on verge of death only to have Bones save them and then be pulled towards another patient went on for hours. The Bird of Prey had been destroyed after refusing to give up even when Kirk had incapacitated the vessel. In all, forty-five crewmembers had perished. Fifteen of them had died with Bones thumping their chests frantically yelling orders at his obedient nursing staff. Chappell had been a constant line of reality at his side. She would drag him off towards another patient praying silently that this one he could save. Every time Bones lost a patient, he felt like he lost a little of his humanity with them. He would re-double his efforts and try that much harder to stop the next patient's bleeding and repair the damage the damn Klingons had done. All the while he pushed himself towards the very verge of human resistance. Jim had called down at one point to request a status update, to which he got the usual gruff response. Hours flew by and finally the Med Bay was only occupied by those that had been saved, those that would rest that night and wake again in the morning.

Bones finally snapped back to reality and turned to find the nearest chronometer. It was well past midnight on the ship which made it even later in Georgia. He raced across the room into his office slamming the door shut behind him. He punched in his access code and Jocelyn's PADD confirmation number. It couldn't have buzzed more than twice before his screen changed to show a southern woman wrapped in her sleeping gown. Bones immediately began spitting apologies and tried to explain what had happened. Jocelyn held up her hand, stopping him mid rant. She informed him that when he had not called, Joanna had tried to call him. They had been told by Star Fleet personnel that because Enterprise had been engaged by a Klingon Vessel no personal communications were being patched through. She told him that they had both been worried to death about him and they had cried themselves to sleep. Bones had tried to comfort her, but she was right, they nearly had died. She told him to call back when he could and she would make sure Joanna was able to talk to him, but she wanted him to get some sleep and clean up first, Joanna didn't need to see her daddy covered in blood even if it was someone else's. She told him to take care and she would see him soon.

Bones disconnected the line and dropped his head to his hands and cried. He had forgotten about everything in the heat of the battle. He forgot about Jocelyn and Joanna and about all the others on the ship he cared about. Had something happened to him it would break Jo's heart, but all little girl's had to give up their daddies at one point. Had something happened to Jim, Spock, Ny, Scotty, Christine, Pavel or Hikaru it would have broken Bones completely. While he loved his family on Earth with all his heart, they were safe. The Enterprise made sure of that. But his family onboard the ship was at constant risk. At any moment, any of the seven people, that were as part of him as his own beating heart, were in danger from any number of nefarious vessels. His throat constricted as he stared the black thought head on. He loved these people and he would do anything to protect them and vise versa. He quietly pulled out his recently replaced bottle of brandy and poured himself a large serving, drowning any morbid thought in the amber liquid.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. I got 2 chapters in 1 day because it snowed and my lovely, wonderful, awesome boss told me I could go home early!**

**As an ex-wife myself I really don't like to make Jocelyn look like such a b*tch. Eh, my personal thoughts.**

**The nurses, except for Chappell, in this part are named after the wonderful nurses I work with! If you are reading you know who you are! Kisses!**

**The last one is the Plus One. I was beginning to think that getting Bones into a situation that didn't give him the urge to drink was his own death, but I think I've got it figured out without the tears. I'll have it posted soon.**

**Let me know what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Don't own it and don't get any money…**

**This is the last part. I hope y'all enjoy it! It is long, it is sappy but I really think it so Bones (well the Bones that hides behind snarls and hypos!) I just couldn't bring myself to make it a Romance between Spock/Kirk/McCoy… maybe in my next fic**

**This story has had over 500 visitors! Psyched! **

Plus One – The Time Bones Didn't Need a Drink

Few weddings in the 23rd century were traditional, mainly because traditional weddings consisted of a human male marrying a human female with both usually being from the same ethnic group. In the new age marriages were more likely than not to be between people of the same sex, people who regardless of sex were not from the same planet much less ethnic group or people who were so genetically incompatible that they would not have off-spring. There were even 'short-term' marriages that lasted for only five years, which had cut the divorce rate of the Federation by half. Star Fleet did however encourage officers and crewmen alike to marry and take dual assignments, no matter what kind of marriage they chose. Marriages were still statistically proven to expand life-expectancy and over-all health.

In his time on the Enterprise, Bones had seen several marriages take place. In fact he had been a member of the wedding party at several. It was a very little-known fact that Bones never drank at the wedding reception. Yea, he was such a sap but there wasn't a soul brave enough in this quadrant to say that to his face. He was too busy watching the newly married couple as they danced, laughed and loved. It was like the love from them radiated out to him and wrapped itself tight around him and eased the pain he carried daily. All guests gave him a wide girth and didn't bother him while he was lost in his own thoughts. At a wedding reception, no one mentioned the Red Shirts, away missions, divorces or little raven haired girls back in Georgia. It was the one time that Bones could relax and not be a bitter doctor, but just another Star Fleet Enlisted, a human being with a heart. He relished these times and thought about them often.

Chappell and Rand had been the first to take the plunge and it was by far Bones' favorite female human to human wedding. And Bones was becoming an expert. Chappell had come to him with her face cherry red and had mumbled a request that he be her 'honor guard' at the wedding. That was the PR term for those standing in the place of Maid of Honor or Best Man at these free-love weddings, that is what Bones' father had called them. Though Bones never wanted to go thru the challenge of being married to someone again, he wasn't about to deny someone the happiness that they deserved, so he had gladly accepted. The wedding was a quiet affair with Jim presiding and the happy couple spending their off shifts on the planet below as a make-shift honeymoon. When Christine had come back to the Med Bay tanned and practically glowing with happiness, Bones knew that she had found the one in the universe that made her happy. He was happy for her. Rand would come by and check on Chappell when ever her duties send her close to the Med Bay. Bones would smile and let them have just a moment or two alone.

The second wedding was the one everyone on Enterprise had been expecting since the Nero attack. In fact there were several betting pools as to when it would happen, Bones was pretty sure Ny had won a ton of credits off of it too. Hikaru had finally asked Pavel to marry him after an away mission had left him bleeding out in the Med Bay with Bones patching him up on a wing and a prayer. Pavel had cried for several minutes before answering in Russian, which Ny had translated to the beaming, all be it pale, pilot. The wedding had taken place the day after Hikaru had been released from Med Bay because Pavel would not sit still from the moment he'd accepted the proposal. He and Ny ran around like chickens with their heads cut off pulling wedding decorations out of each other's asses (or at least Bones thought so). Jim presided with Ny and Spock as Honor Guards. Bones had got to sit this one out beside Scotty. Pavel had been so excited when Jim announced them as a married couple he had all but jumped Hikaru. Needless to say the reception was quick, to the point and then continued on without the newly weds. Bones was happy for them too. Pavel and Hikaru were like two gloves of the same pair, they just fit together. Whenever Bones would see them together in the hall heading to their quarters after a long shift, he could see the tenderness and love that passed between them without either one having to say a word.

The third wedding was a bit of a shock, to put it mildly. If anyone had told Bones that Nyota Uhura and Montgomery Scot would get married three years ago, he would have laughed at them until he cried and they started a psych work up immediately. But some how in the strange vacuum of space and the time warp that happened with crazy ass Romulans from the future, Scotty and Ny fell in love. It might have been Ny's biological clock ticking, Scotty's hurry to claim her before Spock wanted her back or everyone else's wedding, but one day they decided to tie the knot and to do it before the week was out. Ny, Christy and Pavel had five days to get a wedding together, and boy did they. There were pink frilly things every where and every damn inch of Observation Deck Five was covered in lace, cotton or silk. It was amazing what that woman could do with willing cohorts. The couple had decided to be fair they would not have any Honor Guards, so that no one in the Engineering department or the command crew would feel left out. Jim had been genuinely sincere as he officiated the union and then proudly announced Mr. and Mrs. Scot to the rest of the crew. There was not a dry eye in the room after Scotty sweetly kissed his new bride, even the pointy-eared bastard himself was choked up. Bones didn't think that Ny's feet touched the floor during the whole reception. They were a radiant couple. Bones swore those two were still on their honeymoon after years of marriage when they flirted mercilessly on the bridge infront of God and everyone.

Had Bones given any thought to the first experiences Jim would have with his future spouse, choking him nearly to death was a pretty good fit for James T. Smug-Jackass Kirk. However, an emotionally distant man who hid behind a mask was something else entirely, because honestly that sounded just like Jim. Though once you got a good look at the way Jim and Spock worked, communicated or even walked beside each other, there was no doubt these two were madly in love. It was just a matter of time before they decided to join in on the matrimonial nonsense with everyone else. Jim had come to him one afternoon and as they shared some of his private stash, he asked Bones to be his best man (PR terms be damned between Bones and Jim) and before Jim could blink, Bones was not only agreeing but wrapping the captain in a congratulatory hug. Yeah, Bones loved weddings so much he didn't even mind Jim and the Hobgoblin getting married. Jim was thrilled that Bones was so receptive, he'd been afraid to breach the subject with him for so long. Bones had let Jim go, cleared his throat and tried to save his reputation. So he chugged a big gulp of Brandy and mumbled something about easing the sexual tension on this damned tin-can.

The fourth wedding had Bones as excited about the damn thing as Ny and Pavel. Jim and Spock had set their wedding date for later that month when they would be arriving at New Vulcan. Admiral Pike was already en route to preside over the human ceremony and Ambassador Selek would preside over the Vulcan bonding ceremony. The week went by in a flutter of activity. Jim, Spock, Bones and Hikaru made sure their dress uniforms shone in perfection. Ny, Christy and Pavel worked their magic once more in turning the Observation Deck Five into a large, elegant ballroom fit for their Captain and Commander to be married in. There was the menu to plan, decorations to set out, placemats to arrange, guests to receive and stag-night parties to plan (which ended up falling thru because you couldn't just take out Spock or Jim, you had to take them out together). Bones was wrapped up in the middle of it as much as Ny was, hell he even help color-coordinate the flowers and the napkins. He felt like it was his son or brother or some other really close relative getting married, times two. Ny wanted it to be perfect, and Bones wanted it to be perfectly 'Jim and Spock'. Finally Ny had given in to Bones and went with his ideas, but she kept her astonishment that Bones had the best idea to herself, she had a reputation to protect.

The day of the ceremony finally arrived. Jim and Spock were led by Selek into a private room with only Bones and Hikaru allowed to be present for the very personal bonding. Bones didn't know exactly what was happening but he got the jest that it was a mental binding. After Jim and Spock locked their hands in the Vulcan intimate gesture, Selek pressed one hand to Spock's face and another to Jim's and repeated some words. Both Jim and Spock relaxed and sank into meditation. Hikaru and Bones stood still, watching in wonder. The whole thing lasted only a few moments, but when Jim opened those big, blue eyes they were relaxed. Spock's whole face was relaxed and the stoic mask was dropped for a few moments to reveal a completely content Vulcan. The moment was so personal and so beautiful and Bones was thankful to have been part of it. The humans had informed told that the Vulcan ceremony would confirm the link between their two minds, uniting them forever. And yea the hard-ass Bones thought that was so romantic, but of course it had to be wasted on heartless Vulcan bastards.

The wedding party was led back out towards the public ceremony where no less than five hundred attendees were waiting. Dignitaries from every where, Admirals all the way up the chain of command, several Vulcan elders and as many of the Enterprise crew that could get the shift off were waiting patiently for the hero couple to appear. Nyota had been singing one of the sweetest renditions of that crazy 20th century love song "My Heart Will Go On", Ny's voice was enough to make even the crappiest of songs beautiful. After a quick kiss on the cheek between the husbands, Spock and Hikaru had turned to make their way to stand at the alter with Bones and Jim going to the door at the back of the lounge. If Jim was nervous, it didn't show. He looked happier than Bones had ever seen him and damnit he looked gorgeous. Without thinking too much a male culture, Bones wrapped his best friend in a tight hug, pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead whispering congrats. Jim was so surprised (well, thankful and happy) by the emotional display that when the doors opened for them to walk towards Spock he wrapped his arm thru Bones and let Bones guide him towards his future. And Bones, being the emotional human that he was, actually got choked up during their short walk. He could only imagine that this was Jim's way of telling him that he had filled the void that George Kirk had left in his son's life, but maybe that was his emotions playing tricks on him. But he smiled and handed Jim off to Spock with another kiss to the top of Jim's blonde head, just as any father of the bride/groom/Kirk would do.

The official ceremony was very short and to the point. Admiral Pike did a beautiful job of making sure the four commanding officers of the Enterprise didn't have to stand infront of half the Federation for very long listening to pointless words when everyone in the room could see how much the couple loved each other, how much everyone in the room was happy for them or how the crew couldn't believe it had taken them this long to tie the knot. When Chris announced them married, the whole room (even the Vulcans) applauded and cheered. Spock and Jim led the way to the reception with hands firmly clasped. Hikaru, Bones, Ny, Scotty and Pavel waited, there were too many people following the couple for their comfort. They all shared a quiet moment together watching the finally pieces of the Enterprise Command Crew click into place. Jim and Spock risked their lives on a daily basis to save the Enterprise, her crew and the entire damn Federation, they deserved to be happy and loved.

When it died down enough to let the five pass, the group partook in the reception, with Bones not needing one drop of alcohol. The command crew was occupying a corner of the room. Bones was overcome with the feeling of all the love in the room at that moment from the wonderful ceremony. So he did one of the most un-Bones-like things ever, he reached out and pulled the whole group into a hug, beaming from ear to ear. Damn he loved weddings. Now they were just going to have to find some more crewmembers to keep getting married for Bones to keep being so happy.

**A/N: Thank for reading.**

**What do you think?**


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